All of us go through that period in our life where we are literally surrounded by people and still feel so alone. Sometimes I think it's become a sort of cliché of society, a way our mind subconsciously conforms to. I don't like it. People around me are nice, they love me, they care about me, but still I feel something's missing. God's there, I know He is. It's just... I don't know really... *sigh* Could it be the worry that's constantly weighing down on my shoulders about what results I'm going to be receiving this upcoming June/July?
Is it knowing my life is going to take a scary but unavoidable U-turn and this is probably going to be the most stressful and exciting year of my life [-2 months].
Is it the deliberation of what I should do with my life? What will make me happy but at the same time give me enough income to live. Let's just say the dream of photography is down the drain here in Malta, and being a lecturer of Philosophy... Well not many openings there now either.
Or is it the stress of knowing something bad is about to happen? I don't know what or when, I can just feel it brewing up inside the drama of the life my life has been the past year.
No. I'm not being negative here, just realistic.
Ah, t'has been a good couple of days if I must say so myself.
Panic attacks about exams, dreaming about my future and actually working to make it happen, actually passing my test (:, Laughing, running around JC, sitting in the middle of a street, being asked if I was protesting about something, sitting on a pavement, eating ice-cream at 10 in the morning on a nice February day, reading, downloading the most epic album ever, smiling, singing to strangers, applying for a job at Soul Survivor, being told that I have a positive vibe (:!, lying down on a bench with a friend, applying for an exchange to Germany, and totally being showered with God's love (:
I think I just might consider this week to have been some sort of musical and just burst into song about it. Seriously.
This has been a great chat guys, please come visit again, I'm looking forward to it, but till then Taylor awaits my eyes and mind.
Be blessed (:
Listen to this song, I just can't stop listening to it myself <3
Ok so apparently I haven't blogged a proper blog in ages according to Paula so hereee goes. [Also Achie complained we don't blog anymore so this is for her too.]
The problem with blogging is that I say I have too much to do and not much time to do it in, but then I find myself doing nothing anyway. I'm getting so frustrated at myself it's become crazy, I'm always shouting at myself in my brain but I still don't get much done. For example I have 12 final pieces of art to give in in less then a month and I have not started yet. I have 7 essays to write and I have not started yet. I have 40 books to read as my new years resolution and I have only read 3 till now... And my poor Bible is also getting the hit cause from once a day I'm reading it like once a week now ):
Next time any of you see me, slap me and tell me "WORK!" Also I've been missing soooo many lectures.. But ahhh! And Achie I really wanted to do that marathon how sad, but it's on the list of "Want to do but never gets round to doing it".
On a more positive note, I have D-group lunch in half an hour and I'm quite excited to be with them all again <3
I promise my next blog will be more interesting, I'll try to blog more often now, I just ask for you to pray for me so that this phase I'm going through STOPS! xD
Infinite x's and o's
Something I 'wrote' while walking home today, nature is just too inspiring (: It's not that good I admit, but I like it xD..
I wanted to fly up into the sky and hide behind the clouds
disappear from the world,
but you brought me back down
to be with you and live in peace
now my worries are gone
and your here
beside me.
Finally, I'm free
in peace with the world
now I stare up and see
a cloudless sky
and know
that you have made
everything right.
