At d-group mass we where talking about how people prefer to remain anonymous and not show what they actually feel. Now I took this is so many different ways, I thought of how people show their emotion through poetry and songs but sign as anonymous cause they would have poured so many emotions out that they'd be ashamed to actually show people how they feel.
Then at night I went to youthful worship at uni, and at a point they gave us pebbles and told us to place them at the foot of the cross, and I just sat at the back literally hiding behind the people, and I didn't want to go down and show everyone I'm letting go of those pebbles. I don't know why. Even during worship I went outside and didn't want people to see me worship, but as the people I was hiding behind walked down to throw their own pebbles at the foot of the cross, I shyed away, I was also tempted to just pocket the pebbles (sorry).
But then I realised that with pocketing the pebbles I'm just holding onto my sins, sins that I never seem to want to let go off sometimes but I'm slowly growing to.
All this reminded me of something I once wrote for this blog but I signed it anonymous and I never actually came to posting it up.Being anonymous is just like putting on a mask, you show people only the things they want to see and not what you actually are.
Masks
Why do we all fake being strong?
Why can't we show our true feelings?
Why can't we know if your broken?
Why do we hide behind our masks?
I can't be fixed anymore, the tape holding my heart is worn out
and can't hold it together any longer.
I'm sick of hiding.
This is the real me.
Broken, hurt and resentful.
You all look away, ashamed of how I feel.
But when I look around at the crowd around me, only one face is looking back.
I see the face of Jesus.
You can be the only help anyone ever gets in their life.
Don't hold back.
Be broken in God's love.
Cause that's when we can truely be born again.
Anonymous.
Then at night I went to youthful worship at uni, and at a point they gave us pebbles and told us to place them at the foot of the cross, and I just sat at the back literally hiding behind the people, and I didn't want to go down and show everyone I'm letting go of those pebbles. I don't know why. Even during worship I went outside and didn't want people to see me worship, but as the people I was hiding behind walked down to throw their own pebbles at the foot of the cross, I shyed away, I was also tempted to just pocket the pebbles (sorry).
But then I realised that with pocketing the pebbles I'm just holding onto my sins, sins that I never seem to want to let go off sometimes but I'm slowly growing to.
All this reminded me of something I once wrote for this blog but I signed it anonymous and I never actually came to posting it up.Being anonymous is just like putting on a mask, you show people only the things they want to see and not what you actually are.
Masks
Why do we all fake being strong?
Why can't we show our true feelings?
Why can't we know if your broken?
Why do we hide behind our masks?
I can't be fixed anymore, the tape holding my heart is worn out
and can't hold it together any longer.
I'm sick of hiding.
This is the real me.
Broken, hurt and resentful.
You all look away, ashamed of how I feel.
But when I look around at the crowd around me, only one face is looking back.
I see the face of Jesus.
You can be the only help anyone ever gets in their life.
Don't hold back.
Be broken in God's love.
Cause that's when we can truely be born again.
Anonymous.
April 6, 2009 at 8:34 AM
i know what u mean about the hiding, yesterday for example...i was happy i could 'hide' behind the camera, or mask of camera man...i had an excuse to not even take part in the praise outwardly.
April 6, 2009 at 9:53 AM
so so true Zoe...
April 6, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Awesome post Zo :)
April 6, 2009 at 12:46 PM
wen u decide not to care about wat ppl think of u...that wen u feel most free and believe me...MUCH less stressed =)
April 7, 2009 at 5:35 AM
we all wear a mask at some point in our lives... ither to look strong or impress.. sometimes it grows so strong that it becomes a part of who you are and you wont even know that your mask is still on... Remember that God created you, flaws and all. Take joy in that fact, and know HE is allways with you, even when you are not with him.... HE is allways there ready to love, ready to accept... all you got to do is take off the mask and place it at the foot of his cross.
God bless zoe =)