Ahhhh *sigh* what beautifullllll weather. I love it, sunny, nice, breezy... Totally inspiring.. What I would give to be somewhere with the Nikon atm.. which btw now has the official name of Harmony.Alas, I shall soon be off to a mathematics marathon of work anddd till now I shall sketch my time away looking at the sky (: I'm loving this new blogger template though (Y)
Yesterday we watched Remember Me.. Now I am not a person who cries in films.. That's Sara's job, but... I don't know I hate any film... Hmmm spoiler alert, I shall refrain from saying what I was about to say.
I've got... approximately 2 weeks now till my A-levels and I am still not stressed out.. SCORE!
Ah well.. I guess... I'll manage?
But for now I am totally physced out about changing my room. I discussed things with my parents and lime and blue walls + a book case is in order (:
I'm so happy (:
This was meant to be the saddest yet best week of my life due to the fact that it's the end.. The end of my sixth form life. Yes, I am old! I can't believe it, I mean I used to look up at old students who came to visit us at school and go "My, I can't wait to get to where they are, it must be amazing to have so much freedom and be so mature!" Now I look back at myself and say "Oh, you naive child"
I don't know how to sum up what has happened to me in these 2 years, they have literally been the biggest roller coaster of my life. More downs then ups and twirls, getting stuck upside down in mid-air till the point were I was nauseous of my own life. But now, what do I do?
I feel like my blogs have all been about this sickening feeling of not knowing what I'm going to do with my future, and my life just feels frustrating due to the fact that I'm missing so much school and staying home.
*sigh*
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 [This is what's keeping me from breaking down]
Lenten talks have come and gone, they were tiring in the least but worth it, I just pray someone's life was changed and that they continue following God, cause I think He is the only reason I am sane at the moment. Him and my Nikon. I miss my Lime camera, I want her back ): I hope I find her soon or I'll die! Just thinking about her makes me sad.
I don't have much to say, I apologize if you are reading this, I guess this blog was one of those "I blogged just to say I blogged" posts.
I feel so devoid of feeling at the moment [apart from the sadness for my camera] let's hope this void will help my inspiration levels and God I do hope I produce a good painting today!
I think I have said enough.
Be blessed kids
All of us go through that period in our life where we are literally surrounded by people and still feel so alone. Sometimes I think it's become a sort of cliché of society, a way our mind subconsciously conforms to. I don't like it. People around me are nice, they love me, they care about me, but still I feel something's missing. God's there, I know He is. It's just... I don't know really... *sigh* Could it be the worry that's constantly weighing down on my shoulders about what results I'm going to be receiving this upcoming June/July?
Is it knowing my life is going to take a scary but unavoidable U-turn and this is probably going to be the most stressful and exciting year of my life [-2 months].
Is it the deliberation of what I should do with my life? What will make me happy but at the same time give me enough income to live. Let's just say the dream of photography is down the drain here in Malta, and being a lecturer of Philosophy... Well not many openings there now either.
Or is it the stress of knowing something bad is about to happen? I don't know what or when, I can just feel it brewing up inside the drama of the life my life has been the past year.
No. I'm not being negative here, just realistic.
Ah, t'has been a good couple of days if I must say so myself.
Panic attacks about exams, dreaming about my future and actually working to make it happen, actually passing my test (:, Laughing, running around JC, sitting in the middle of a street, being asked if I was protesting about something, sitting on a pavement, eating ice-cream at 10 in the morning on a nice February day, reading, downloading the most epic album ever, smiling, singing to strangers, applying for a job at Soul Survivor, being told that I have a positive vibe (:!, lying down on a bench with a friend, applying for an exchange to Germany, and totally being showered with God's love (:
I think I just might consider this week to have been some sort of musical and just burst into song about it. Seriously.
This has been a great chat guys, please come visit again, I'm looking forward to it, but till then Taylor awaits my eyes and mind.
Be blessed (:
Listen to this song, I just can't stop listening to it myself <3
Ok so apparently I haven't blogged a proper blog in ages according to Paula so hereee goes. [Also Achie complained we don't blog anymore so this is for her too.]
The problem with blogging is that I say I have too much to do and not much time to do it in, but then I find myself doing nothing anyway. I'm getting so frustrated at myself it's become crazy, I'm always shouting at myself in my brain but I still don't get much done. For example I have 12 final pieces of art to give in in less then a month and I have not started yet. I have 7 essays to write and I have not started yet. I have 40 books to read as my new years resolution and I have only read 3 till now... And my poor Bible is also getting the hit cause from once a day I'm reading it like once a week now ):
Next time any of you see me, slap me and tell me "WORK!" Also I've been missing soooo many lectures.. But ahhh! And Achie I really wanted to do that marathon how sad, but it's on the list of "Want to do but never gets round to doing it".
On a more positive note, I have D-group lunch in half an hour and I'm quite excited to be with them all again <3
I promise my next blog will be more interesting, I'll try to blog more often now, I just ask for you to pray for me so that this phase I'm going through STOPS! xD
Infinite x's and o's
Something I 'wrote' while walking home today, nature is just too inspiring (: It's not that good I admit, but I like it xD..
I wanted to fly up into the sky and hide behind the clouds
disappear from the world,
but you brought me back down
to be with you and live in peace
now my worries are gone
and your here
beside me.
Finally, I'm free
in peace with the world
now I stare up and see
a cloudless sky
and know
that you have made
everything right.
